After receiving an onslaught of sub-par resumes and cover letters for our administrative assistant job opening, I now know exactly how the judges of American Idol must feel during auditions. Today, I’m feeling a little more Simon Cowell-ish than I am den-mother Paula. These resumes have been absolutely dreadful.

I am a complete grammar/punctuation snob and I’m not afraid to admit it. Or shout it. Or bellow it from the mountaintops. And I am here to tell you that, sad but true, many people do judge you on your writing abilities, especially if that’s the only impression that is available to them.

Here are my basic suggestions on how to make a good first impression when sending correspondence to apply for a job:

-Use spell-check. This is a given. There’s just no excuse for sending professional correspondence without using it.

-Beyond spell-check, try to remember the difference between “it’s” and “its,” “there” and “their,” etc. If you don’t trust yourself to differentiate between these and similar homonyms, maybe you should ask someone who has more than a third-grade education to review your correspondence for you prior to sending it.

-Punctuation! I received an email this morning with a cover letter that read:

Hi My name is Illiterate Schmuck and I am interested in this position I am sending you my resume the best way to reach me is by cell phone 610-xxx-xxxx

Keep in mind that we posted an ad for an administrative assistant, and one of the main functions of the job is to send correspondence to our existing and prospective clients. Why would we want to entrust that task to someone who seems to have no idea when to use the most basic punctuation mark?!?!

-Lastly, what exactly does your email address tell the world about you? If it’s something like Hotmonkeylove69, thuglife4eva, or KKKnUSA, perhaps you should take a moment to create another free email account through Gmail, Yahoo! or Hotmail that is a little less...errr, loaded.

Speaking from personal experience, when I receive a resume from an email address of Windowlicker22470, it goes straight into my Trash folder. Don’t let this happen to your C.V. Instead, create a secondary email account that simply contains some combination of your initials and numbers, which you can use exclusively for professional correspondence.

How to improve your writing if you feel it’s lacking? Very simple!

1. Go to your local public library.
2. Find these two books: The Elements of Style by Strunk and White, and Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynn Truss.
3. Absorb the information from these books and start applying it to your daily correspondence.

You’re welcome!

Labels: bitching, books, education, opinions, sheer idiocy, technology, work

After thinking about this for quite some time, I've made a decision to finish my degree.

This is something that I just need to do. Period. It's both a professional and personal goal for me. As much as I hate to admit it, the fact is that most people in business tend to make negative judgments on those of us who don't have that piece of paper.

I took four online classes through the University of Phoenix back in 2003-2004, but then I went to work for a firm that didn't offer tuition reimbursement. So I focused on attaining some professional licenses and certifications at that point.

I've been nagging my current company to adopt a tuition reimbursement policy since I was hired here, and I finally got them to agree to it. Previously, they didn't offer it, but I was informed this morning that they will reimburse me 100% of the cost of every class I take, provided I get a passing grade. How cool is THAT?

I applied to Widener's Exton campus yesterday and ordered transcripts from West Chester and the University of Phoenix. Now I'm going to make an appointment with the academic advisor for next week, so that we can put together an attack plan.

Assuming I'm accepted to Widener (and I don't foresee an issue with this), classes begin September 3.

I guess this qualifies as that "something major" I was hoping would happen when I wrote about it a few weeks ago.

Labels: education, goals, good news, money, work

Several months ago, I received an email from one of my coworkers that read:

Since you like writing, I’ll share my community service work with you.

Read below for the link to register as a judge for the InvestWrite program. Middle- and high- school kids write investment-themed essays and we judge them. It’s real easy work, all on the web. They always send certificates to celebrate my judging achievements as well.

It sounded pretty cool, so I signed up as a volunteer judge.

This morning I got an email from the organization that contained a link to the judging rules and to the five essays that I must judge.

I scrolled to the bottom of the email, where it stated:

Due to the tight time frame associated with the end of the school semester, please review and score the essays by 7:00 PM (EDT), Wednesday, April 16, 2008. We greatly appreciate your understanding regarding the urgency of this judging schedule.

Yowza! Now, I realize that these aren't doctoral-level dissertations that I'll be grading, but with the tax deadline tomorrow, this is the busiest time of the year for anyone in the financial services field. I'm a little surprised that the judging must be submitted one day after 4/15. That doesn't give a whole lot of wiggle room.

So I guess I have some homework tonight.

Labels: education, money, volunteering, work, writing

I've decided that I need to resume my Spanish lessons muy pronto.

A few weeks ago, our administrative assistant here stuck her head in my office doorway.

"You don't know Spanish, do you?"

I rolled my eyes and bit my lip. "Well, kiiiiiinda...I took it for seven years throughout high school and college. Why?"

She said, "There's a guy on hold right now who needs a Spanish speaker. He's got questions about his 401(k) account. Can you help him?"

And that, my friends, is how a can of worms opens. Sure, I'll help him. I love helping people...that's the main reason I work in this field, right?

I picked up the phone and told the man that I haven't spoken Spanish in many years, and asked him to speak slowly. I somehow figured out how to ask him to verify his Social Security Number, address, and date of birth...and that's where things went south.

I don't remember learning in any of the Spanish literature or Latin American culture classes I took in college how to discuss the finer points of company mergers and acquisitions, or how to invest money in your retirement account, or how to explain the tax implications of a distribution from said account. Hell, I didn't even know the Spanish translation of "mutual fund."

Somehow I muddled through it by frantically Googling "English Spanish dictionary" while murmuring "Lo siento, senor, un momento mas," punctuated by a lot of apologetic, nervous laughter. The poor man probably thought I was insane.

But it gets worse: just about an hour ago, our admin assistant again pokes her head into my office and says brightly, "Habla espanol?"

Turns out that I was SO helpful that the man I spoke to a few weeks ago gave my name ("Laura" en espanol) to the rest of his Spanish-speaking coworkers at the company. I believe I'll be hearing from them all in the coming weeks, since the company was bought and is discontinuing the 401(k) plan for its employees, and everyone will be entitled to withdraw their money.

So I need to find out how I can take a business Spanish class. There are lots of community education classes in my area but they are more geared toward conversational Spanish.

Any ideas?

Labels: education, goals, work