I hate the Philadelphia airport.

Whatever happened to the glamour and romance of air travel in Philadelphia? It seems like every other airport I’ve been in (including Newark!) is a cleaner, more efficient place. Our airport reminds me of a third-world Greyhound bus terminal. The facilities are always crowded and filthy, the dining options are less than appetizing, and the employees are surly and incompetent.

Let me give you my latest example of the Philadelphia TSA employees’ incompetence. We arrived at PHL on Thursday morning to fly to Fort Myers. The security lines weren’t actually too long, which pleasantly surprised me. As we approached the x-ray machine, I removed my shoes, sunglasses, and hoodie, took my laptop out of my backpack, and placed everything in the gray bins to be scanned.

As soon as I stepped through the metal detector (which I passed though with no problem), one of the TSA employees who obviously suffered from a Napoleon complex asked me to step away from the line.

I glanced over at The Huz and rolled my eyes.

Little Napoleon said he needed to “test” my shoes.

I shrugged. Testing for what, I have no idea. Anthrax? Gunpowder? Who knows?

Then he asked me if there were any sharp objects in my purse.

“No,” I replied. “Go ahead and look.”

He started rifling through my purse and, seconds later, confiscated my Chapstick (which is a solid, not a liquid).

I wanted to ask what the problem was with having Chapstick in my purse, but I knew that if I opened my mouth, my problem with authority would’ve become immediately evident and things would’ve gone south from there. So I remained silent.

Then he took my $20 freaking MAC Viva Glam V Lipglass from me! I have gone through countless security lines in airports across the country, including PHL, and never once have gotten any problems with lipgloss!

This is just how my luck works, people. My most expensive (and favorite) lipgloss gets taken from me. But it gets better.

Little Napoleon gave me the option of returning to the end of the line and going through security again, this time putting the Chapstick and lipgloss in a clear ziplock baggie for scanning. I looked back at the line, which had grown exponentially longer than before, and I declined.

Fuming, I put my shoes back on, shoved my laptop into my backpack, put my hoodie back on, and headed with The Huz for our gate.

We stopped in the restrooms on the way to the gate, and it was then that I realized that Little Napoleon and his idiotic TSA cohorts had failed to identify and confiscate an enormous box of matches in the front pouch of my backpack. Obviously I couldn’t be trusted with expensive cosmetics, but a potential source of fire? No problem!

Dipshits.

Labels: bitching, Illadelph, opinions, sheer idiocy, travel

Here's a slideshow of my pictures from the wedding of our friends Matt and Jill. They were married Friday evening on the beach on Marco Island, Florida. It was such a beautiful, intimate ceremony.

Congratulations to you both, and thank you for letting us share your special day with you!

PS - I'm a little disappointed by the quality of these pictures as they appear in the video, but the original JPEGs came out crystal-clear. I don't know why the pictures don't show up that well here, though. Sorry!

Labels: friends, marriage, music, pictures, technology, travel

If you ever have the opportunity to visit Naples or Marco Island on Florida's Gulf Coast...DO IT!

I don't know this guy; I just thought it would be a cool picture. He had no idea I was even there with my camera.

Looking across an inlet at the Delnor-Wiggins State Park beach. The water was fabulous. We spent quite a bit of time in the Gulf this afternoon, and I don't even like being in the ocean!

This might be my personal favorite of all the pictures I took in Naples, underneath the Naples Pier.
Shore birds abound here. I saw HUGE pelicans (second in size only to the great California condor), sea osprey, egrets, herons, and of course, seagulls.

Labels: pictures, travel

Perhaps my imagination is running wild, especially after doing all that recent reading about the haunted graveyards of the South.

Just for the hell of it, about fifteen minutes ago I started scrolling slowly through my pictures of the First Unitarian churchyard in Charleston again...the unedited, raw footage. I took about sixty pictures there. I got to the twenty-second or so photo and blew it up on my screen, and I SWEAR....I see a man's face in it.

I'm SO not joking.

After staring at this picture for about ten minutes now, I'm still trying to decide if my eyes are just playing tricks on me. But I can clearly make out a man's face in this picture. It's disembodied, which is the strange part...that is, if you don't consider the fact that there's an image of a person who wasn't actually THERE in my picture to begin with strange.

Anyway, I can clearly make out an almost full frontal view of his face. I see his hair and high forehead, his eyes, his right ear, a mustache and possibly a beard, and the fact that he appears to be smiling. But he's not looking at my camera.

I am one of the most cynical people you will ever meet...Cayman, you can vouch for me on that one. However, I seriously believe there is SOMETHING in this picture.

I'm posting the original, unretouched picture here. The only thing that I have changed in this picture is the color; I changed everything except where I see the "face" to black and white. I still don't think it's large enough to see well here, but click on the pic and tell me what you think. Remember, it's a disembodied head/face, and it kind of blends in with the tree trunk in the picture. Yet the facial features are still SO. DAMN. CLEAR. to me.

Am I nuts?

Labels: opinions, pictures, sheer insanity, travel

I like cemeteries, especially very old ones.

I was a little bummed that we didn't get a chance to visit the famed Bonaventure Cemetery in Savannah, but we did swing by a beautiful graveyard behind the First Unitarian Church in the heart of Charleston, so well-camouflaged that supposedly most of the locals don't even know of its existence.

If I ever felt compelled to join a religious congregation, I would totally be down with the UU. But I digress.

This particular graveyard is the locale of many ghost legends in Charleston. You can read about them here and here. The second link also features a creepy (and probably Photoshopped) picture of a spirit wandering in the cemetery.

I took plenty of pictures during our stop here, but sadly, no mysterious shadows or glowing orbs of light appeared in my shots.

Labels: history, pictures, travel

On Sunday afternoon, we drove about 100 miles north from Savannah to Charleston. Our first stop was the Magnolia Plantation on the Ashley River. We took a house tour and a tram tour of the grounds. It was amazing. There is an array of wildlife on the plantation grounds, and the tour guide told us that a local ornithologist had identified over two hundred species of birds on the property last year.

If you're spending any time in the Charleston vicinity and have a few hours, I highly recommend checking it out. There's also a self-guided walking tour through swamplands, a petting zoo, and extensive gardens.

Here are some pictures.




The live oak-lined driveway to the plantation house.




Slave cabins on the plantation grounds.


Many peacocks wandered around the petting zoo area. This one in particular seemed to enjoy posing for me.




Here's a shot of Bubba, the resident male gator of the plantation.


Fred, a great blue heron.

Labels: animals, family, history, pictures, travel

I'm in Charleston tonight, but wanted to post a couple pics I took in Savannah yesterday.

This place was fantastic. The gardens, town squares, fountains, architecture...everything is so charming, unlike any other place I've ever visited. The sweet aroma of wild honeysuckle perfumes the air. Spanish moss drips from the limbs of the enormous live oaks that line the avenues of this small city. I'm only sorry that we weren't able to stay longer. There are tons of great photo opportunities here that I didn't have the chance to explore, due to our tight schedule.

Labels: family, pictures, travel