After receiving an onslaught of sub-par resumes and cover letters for our administrative assistant job opening, I now know exactly how the judges of American Idol must feel during auditions. Today, I’m feeling a little more Simon Cowell-ish than I am den-mother Paula. These resumes have been absolutely dreadful.

I am a complete grammar/punctuation snob and I’m not afraid to admit it. Or shout it. Or bellow it from the mountaintops. And I am here to tell you that, sad but true, many people do judge you on your writing abilities, especially if that’s the only impression that is available to them.

Here are my basic suggestions on how to make a good first impression when sending correspondence to apply for a job:

-Use spell-check. This is a given. There’s just no excuse for sending professional correspondence without using it.

-Beyond spell-check, try to remember the difference between “it’s” and “its,” “there” and “their,” etc. If you don’t trust yourself to differentiate between these and similar homonyms, maybe you should ask someone who has more than a third-grade education to review your correspondence for you prior to sending it.

-Punctuation! I received an email this morning with a cover letter that read:

Hi My name is Illiterate Schmuck and I am interested in this position I am sending you my resume the best way to reach me is by cell phone 610-xxx-xxxx

Keep in mind that we posted an ad for an administrative assistant, and one of the main functions of the job is to send correspondence to our existing and prospective clients. Why would we want to entrust that task to someone who seems to have no idea when to use the most basic punctuation mark?!?!

-Lastly, what exactly does your email address tell the world about you? If it’s something like Hotmonkeylove69, thuglife4eva, or KKKnUSA, perhaps you should take a moment to create another free email account through Gmail, Yahoo! or Hotmail that is a little less...errr, loaded.

Speaking from personal experience, when I receive a resume from an email address of Windowlicker22470, it goes straight into my Trash folder. Don’t let this happen to your C.V. Instead, create a secondary email account that simply contains some combination of your initials and numbers, which you can use exclusively for professional correspondence.

How to improve your writing if you feel it’s lacking? Very simple!

1. Go to your local public library.
2. Find these two books: The Elements of Style by Strunk and White, and Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynn Truss.
3. Absorb the information from these books and start applying it to your daily correspondence.

You’re welcome!

Labels: bitching, books, education, opinions, sheer idiocy, technology, work